Playing Catch-Up

So I suppose it's okay to blog on Sunday? Is it a variant of journal writing? I'm hoping so, because this is the first chance I've had to sit down and get anything posted in a while.

It's been a fun week. The two big highlights have been, first and foremost, Wyatt Dean Hallstrom's First Birthday Party!!! His actual birthday is tomorrow, but we celebrated with our family yesterday. Here's some pics of his fun with chocolate cake:



mmm, kinda tasty!



I mean, mmm, REALLY tasty!



That was amazing! Getting messy, eating cake, now I get to take a bath in front of all these people--awesome!



See how well I clean up?

It was pretty funny watching him dig into the cake. He also loved opening his presents. For a kid who's only one, he really loves his toys. He wasn't sure about ripping open the wrapping paper, so Mom had to help him out:



He's also done something that none of my other kids have done: starting walking right on his first birthday. Ethan and Elise were both kind of late walkers, and Jonas was a crazy early walker (9 mos!). But here he is, showing off his stuff:



The other exciting thing that's happened this week is the completion of Bound on Earth. We finally got through with the last minute edits and changes, and Parables finished the cover. The book was sent to the printer a couple of days ago, and I should have a "proof" copy in hand in a week or so. (Yee haw!!). Here's the cover, which I love (thanks to Tony, who did the beautiful cover art):



As time is growing nearer to the book actually being read by actual people, I find that I'm excited, but I'm scared, too. I hope people like it, of course, but I hope people understand it, too. You know how it feels when you prepare a lesson or a talk for church, and you get up there and say everything you've prepared and think it went okay, but then when you sit back down you start second guessing yourself and thinking, "Did I say everything I meant to say? Did everyone listening to me get the gist, or did I say one thing, and they heard another?" It's kind of that feeling. For example, the first few stories/chapters in the book are kind of sad. Actually, a number of stories in the book are kind of sad. But I also think that the book is ultimately redemptive and even uplifting, but as I was doing the final final read through, I kept thinking, "I hope ________ [fill in with family member / friend / person in my neighborhood ] doesn't think this means that I'm sad, or that I think life is sad . . ." because, I don't think life is sad. Not at all. But I do think life can be hard, and that one of the purposes of fiction is to highlight that conflict (and after all, as all my writing books tell me, "only conflict is interesting") and watch, vicariously, as other people work through it. Fictional people, of course. Although my Palmers don't really seem fictional to me anymore, after all this time we've spent together.

I'm certain that people will misread the book. As a matter of fact, there was a man who read it when I'd placed it with another publisher for consideration who liked a lot of things about it . . . but his comments were that he thought the book ganged up on the men. Such a thought had never entered my mind! In fact, my character Nathan is my favorite character, and the most inherently good character, of the whole book. But that was this guy's reading. Also, the Utah Arts Council judge who read it and liked it (one of his blurbs is on the cover) thought that I was too nice to the church. I'm certain that there will be some people who will read it and think that I should have been nicer to the church. And there's a whole blog post here about how I had absolutely NO AGENDA when it came to the church, and just wanted to write a book with Mormons in it where the church was just THERE, like race or culture or gender or anything else that is just a part of the fabric of who we are. Too often, when people write about Mormonism, the authors either want to use the book as a tool to convert, or they want to use the book as a way to expose all their gripes. I didn't want to do either, primarily because I think both approaches almost always ruin your chance at telling a good story.

Anyway! It should be really interesting when it comes out, hearing what people think, seeing, through their eyes, what I wrote without knowing it :-).

And Happy Birthday, Wy-Man! Love you!

Quickies!

Oh, I've been neglecting my blog. I just started up my new semester for school, and at the last minute they asked me to take another class. Long story short, there were some tech difficulties, so I've been spending some time getting everything up and running.

So what's up here? Hmmm . . . Wyatt's taking three or four steps. He's so close to walking, and could if he'd dare to venture out. He's also saying a few more words: ow, night night, and the other day he said "Hi!" to me when I walked in the door to rescue him from his crib. He's at such a fun age.

The kids are good--back in school after Christmas, but they only have two more weeks till they're off track again. It's getting harder and harder to get them out of bed in the morning. I can see my life five years from now, dragging them all by the arm at 6:00 a.m. (high school starts SO EARLY!!). Jonas is playing basketball, and Forrest is the coach of our little neighborhood team. They got KILLED last Saturday, but we're hoping that the team full of ringers that we faced is an anomaly. Elise got a new bedspread and used her Christmas money to buy some beads to hang up like curtains and they look darling. Very teenagerish. And Ethan checked out a book from the school library yesterday (the second book in the "Lightning Theif" series--but I can't remember what it's called) and read the whole thing in one day.

Oh, and did you all watch some of the returns last night from the New Hampshire primary? It was fascinating watching the pundits trying to explain why Hillary Clinton was still ahead despite all their prognosticating and polling until, lo and behold, she DOES win! Although I think the Dems would be insane not to nominate Obama. He has so much charisma, I think he'd be reaaaaalllly hard to beat. Did you listen to his acceptance speech after Iowa? Like a mixture of JFK and Martin Luther King. And I still watch Mitt with a little catch in my heart--like he's my kid or something and I don't want him to mess up on national TV--and part of me wants him to do well, but another part of me wishes he would just lose and get it over with. I really worry if he has to go up against Obama. I actually like Obama better than Mitt and I'm (obviously) predisposed to like Mitt, but man, he can seem so robotic. Loosen up, dude! I want to take his hair and shake it. He could still win, though. The Republicans are so up in the air, I wonder if any one of them is attractive enough to a broad base to even compete nationally.

Okay, so that's enough political speech. I have to go eat a PB&J sandwich . . . mmmm . . .

Christmas Rundown

Christmas week! A good time has been had by all, and we've resolved almost all of the technology-related emergencies that arise when most of the people in the household are receiving presents that contain batteries and/or wi-fi connections. (BTW, does anyone have any hints about getting a handheld Nintendo DS to connect wirelessly to the Wii so Jonas can upload all his Pokemon to the Pokemon Colosseum game? No? Didn't think so! :-).

Here are the highlights:



We went to Temple Square with the Wilkeys to see the beautiful lights. A terrific snowstorm started falling just as we were heading downtown. The driving was sketchy, but the snow was beautiful. The only bad part was Mom not insisting that everybody wear snow boots, so we had some cold, wet toesies by the end of the night.



Elise and I went to go see The Nutcracker with Katie and Jane Wilkey at the Capitol Theater downtown. What a gorgeous production. The girls had a ball, dining at The Olive Garden beforehand and enjoying the ballet together.



On Christmas Eve, we went to Grandma and Grandpa Sweat's house and had our traditional yummy Christmas Eve Dinner (mmmmmm, funeral potatoes). Elise is in her PJ's because (of course!) she started getting sick that very day. She was a little feverish that morning, and complained of a headache and overall lousiness. She rallied enough to perform in the nativity play, though. She and her cousin Lauren were angels, Jonas was the tax collecter (a given, with his natural affinity for money), and Ethan was Joseph, even though he wanted to be the narrator. But he was a good sport. And Wyatt was a recalcitrant sheep.






Christmas Morning!! The kids were good and didn't wake up Mom until 7:00 a.m. (Little did they know that Dad and Wyatt had been up since a little past six!). Lots of toys, lots of happy kids, only a few minor glitches, like the Pokemon problem referred to above. Elise had rallied a bit and wasn't feeling as sick, much to her relief. Ethan was starting to fade, though. Only Jonas felt good enough to head outside with his new sled (and Mom and Dad and Wyatt.) Here's some good video:



And a cute picture of Wyatt in the snow:



We fell into bed on Christmas night, exhausted and surrounded by crumpled bits of wrapping paper and little sticky tags. We were still holding out hope that the kids would be feeling better in the morning and that Forrest and I could go on the weekend trip to Las Vegas that we'd planned (Tony & Cindy and Mindy & Pete were going to take the kids and we were planning on leaving Thurs and coming back Saturday afternoon.) But when we woke up the next morning, Ethan was even sicker. Elise seemed better, but she was complaining that she had something in her throat. Much to her horror (and mine), when she went to clear her throat, she spit out BLOOD! I called her pediatrician who told me to take her to the ER. So I loaded up Wyatt (Forrest was snowboarding with Tony at the time, lucky man, unlucky me) and headed to the hospital. I was scared, but I didn't think it could be pneumonia or anything like that because she didn't have a cough of any kind and her lungs seemed fine. So after about two hours of wrestling with Wyatt and trying (in vain) to keep him off the germy hospital floor, we discovered that Elise did NOT have tuberculosis, but did have strep throat AND a cold simultaneously. Her raw throat had gotten bloody, and she had so much mucous that when she cleared her throat it all came up. I was extremely grateful that she was okay . . . and mildly irritated that the pediatrician didn't just let me bring her to the office instead of making me hang out in the hospital all morning and pay a $75 copay. But I was mostly glad that she was okay.

Needless to say, Forrest and I did NOT go to Vegas. But, luckily, the nice people at Expedia.com refunded the money we'd paid for our hotels even though we'd passed the refund deadline. Hooray for customer service! Now I will heartily recommend Expedia for all your traveling needs. And we got the kids on their meds and all are healthy and well. Hooray again!

Finally, last night we went to the Ranquist Family Christmas party, which is getting bigger all the time with the addition of spouses and cousins. We had our traditional yummy shrimp soup (one of my favorite Christmas recipes EVER), the kids did talents (Jonas shared his Pokemon card collection, and all around Pokemon life philosophy, Ethan did an abbreviated, and impromptu, bit of standup, and Elise and I sang "Silent Night" accompanied by Dad on the guitar.) Here's some video of the whole fam-damily trying to play "I Heard the Bells on Christmas Day" on, well, the bells:




And to conclude, I must mention the most unexpected gift of Christmas for yours truly: Guitar Hero for the Wii. I ROCK! (Well, probably not compared to a 15 year old with no girlfriend who spends all day in his room practicing, but for your average 35 year old Mom of Four . . . I ROCK!). Although I've been tripped up, now, by Slash, the guitarist for Guns and Roses. I was kicking can on all the songs (on Medium level, for those of you familiar with the game) and moving through the levels, but then Slash challenged me to a Guitar Battle and I CAN'T BEAT HIM. Infuriating. And since it's Sunday (and Sunday is "No Video Games Day" for kids and Moms alike), I'm going to have to try and beat him tomorrow.

And that's it from here. Ho Ho Ho, and a Happy New Year!!

A link

I just posted on Segullah, a group blog for LDS women. Last month, they asked me to do a monthly series on LDS lit, and this is my latest effort. Stayed up till 1:00 last night writing it and now I'm sleepy. But I thought you might want to take a look at it here.

And just for fun, here are a couple of pictures. The first is a shot of Elise after her Christmas choir performance, looking cute as can be in her Santa hat. The other picture I've simply entitled "Six."

There's nothing better than the end of a crazy week . ..

Except maybe that moment when you wake up and look at the alarm clock and realize that you still have two more hours to sleep. Isn't that feeling the BEST!? Much better than the feeling represented above: barely concealed terror. Kids and Santa pictures . . . gotta love 'em.

My week has been crazy, it's true. I had to be at the Elementary school every day to pick up these "Student Treasure" order forms (the school can't keep money there over night). I had to read final essays and get final grades completed for SLCC. And I also had to finish my final proofread of the novel and get all the changes sent to Parables. Ethan also came down with a strange viral rash--it's going away, but rashes always give a Mom pause, don't you think? And I got my Christmas cards in the mail!!! (Much thanks to the hubby for that one--he did most of the address sticking and letter folding). But that wasn't even the crazy part. The crazy part was the Relief Society Christmas party and service project I was in charge of.

But the Christmas party went well. We had almost SIXTY women there, which is a great turnout for a Relief Society event. Everyone who was supposed to help helped (although I did have one woman who was supposed to do a table setting call me, sick, a couple of hours before the event, so I ended up doing a table setting, too); the food turned out well (yes, the Baked Ziti was a hit, except for one table who, I found out after the fact, thought theirs was way too salty. The recipe called for 2 TBS of Lowry's Seasoning Salt, and I'm wondering if one of the ziti-bakers didn't have that and instead used regular salt??? Hmmm . . .); the musical entertainment was excellent (a woman in my ward is part of a female barbershop quartet that competes and performs all over the state, and they were awesome.) Other than a slight debacle over a woman in the ward who got her feelings hurt (and I'm not going into it here), the night was a success. Here's some pictures of some of our pretty tables:




(Neither of these is mine--mine wasn't nearly as pretty, since I threw it together in about 20 minutes! Luckily I had a pretty tablecloth and napkins I bought for last Thanksgiving that work just as well as Christmas plates, and some Christmas decorations for a centerpiece). What the heck--here's a pic of my table:



The best part of the whole night, though, was the turnout for the service project. Our ward adopted an Spanish speaking branch from SLC and we did an "Angel Tree" for them. (An Angel Tree is a Christmas tree covered with ornaments that have the name and age of a person for whom you can purchase a gift). So, the night of the party, I packed my car with gifts and came home with:

-82 presents
-$670 in gift cards
-$180 in cash to buy Turkeys and Hams

What an amazing total! I'm so glad we decided to do it . . . even though all 81 gifts are sitting in my office as we speak. I had to sort all of them and check and double check to make sure that everyone who was supposed to get presents got some, and that one child in a family didn't get four presents when another one got two. So it's been a lot of work (Forrest will agree, spending the last two days stepping over me and piles of presents all over the family room floor). But I hope that the families are surprised and that it helps them have a happier Christmas.

So as of today I have my grades in, my manuscript edits emailed, the last of the Student Treasures order forms in a "secure location," and an office full of Christmas presents waiting to be distributed. AND Forrest and I even took advantage of a little Ethan babysitting and put Wyatt to bed and went to a movie last night ("I Am Legend" with Will Smith--waaaaaay freakier than I thought it would be--and some people had SIX YEAR OLDS in the theater. I suppose they thought raging zombie mutants were something their first grader could handle???? It was PG-13, yes, but C'MON PEOPLE!).

So, to end this week's post, a few pictures and one funny tidbit for your reading pleasure:

-My sister-in-law Andi, who is a wonderful blogger and an even more wonderful mother, does an "Out of the Mouths of Babes" entry every month. She keeps track of all the darling things her kids say, which is something I always mean to do but don't do it, and then I kick myself for it later. So here's a funny one from this morning. The kids were playing a game called "Last Word" where you pick a card with a letter of the alphabet and another card with a "topic" (so, like, the letter "A" and the topic "Things you'd find in a restaurant"). Sometimes, though, the topics are too hard or too grown up, so the kids have to pass and get a new card. Here's what was overheard:

Elise: "Letter: D. Topic: Cocktails."
Jonas: "Cocktails??"
Ethan: "That category's way too hard, guys. It's all about shrimp."

Ha!

And finally, here's a smattering of some good pictures from the last little while:





And there's only 10 days till Christmas . . . !!!

Elfed

My Grandpa sent me a hilarious one of these, so I thought I'd do one of the kids. Enjoy!

Elf Yourself!

Six Truths or Habits

My friend Delise tagged me to do six truths or habits, so here's the unvarnished reality of being Angie:

1. Sometimes, when we have little miniature Hershey's candy bars (Halloween, or because it's Valentine's or Easter and I'm a sucker for the pretty colored wrappers), I dip the chocolate bars directly into peanut butter and eat it that way. One time one of my kids caught me and I was very ashamed.

2. I haven't painted my toenails for over a month, and they're all chipped and sad looking.

3. I get really excited when it's time to vote. This last voting cycle all we had to vote on was a referendum about school vouchers (no city council people, no school board, even) and I still woke up in the morning with a little excited thrill in my stomach and thought, "What am I excited about again?" Then I thought, "Oh yeah! I get to vote!"

4. I have to have reading material in every single bathroom in the house. That or handheld Yahtzee.

5. If I could have any talent that I don't have, I would love to be a dancer. The idea of being able to move my body effortlessly to music and not feel like I look like a dork (but instead, look graceful/elegant/powerful/etc etc) is very appealing.

6. I've been watching "The Biggest Loser" this season, and it never fails to make me cry. I was trying to explain to Forrest the difference between "mean" reality shows and "nice" reality shows ("The Biggest Loser" being a nice one, despite its mean title--"They shouldn't call it that!" Elise said) and said that with the nice ones, there are people who are struggling against great odds or trying to achieve something difficult or great, and it's watching the successes that I love. Plus I cry ALL THE TIME now.

Now I'm supposed to tag people, so here goes: Grandpa Hiatt (respond in the comments section!), Andi, Amy, and my cousin Julia (also respond in the comments section--Julia, you need a blog, if only so I can show people pictures of how beautiful you are.)

I know I haven't given lots of updates on actual life at the Hallstrom house, so here are a few small tidbits:

-Went to a live nativity that was super cool. Awesome costumes, live camels, and a real live baby Jesus under a spotlight that was so beautiful it took my breath away. And made me cry. (See above).

-Forrest got a new HD television and, I must admit, it is pretty sweet. That's something coming from a girl who claims not to care about TV sets.

-I think I need to go to the dentist but I'm putting it off because I'm approaching an actual Dentist-phobia. I think about calling him and my heart starts beating fast. Why do I hate the dentist so much? I would rather be in labor, truly.

-Wyatt says "Uh Oh!!" all the time (dropping things and saying "Uh Oh!" until I pick it back up is his favorite new game) and he'd decided he likes Forrest better than me. I told Forrest that when we get old, we'll be the only people I know whose kids say, "Were going to Dad and Mom's" instead of the other way around.

That's it for now! Gotta run to the Wilkey family Christmas party. I also have baked ziti in the oven--we're trying it out on Forrest's parents, to see if the recipe will work for the Enrichment Christmas party on Tues.

Crazy week coming up. We'll see how much I'm able to update . . .

Freaky Crazy Songs of Yore

So my friend Delise recently posted on her blog about her son and how he just got glasses. She quoted the lyrics "My eyes are dim, I cannot see, I did not bring my specs with me" and asked us all to name the song from which this marvelous lyric hails. I started thinking and I was just CONVINCED that it came from this song that (I thought) went "A ram tam tam, a ram tam tam, guley guley guley guley guley ram tam tam." It was sung in a round. Now where and when and how I ever learned this song has long evaporated into the ether of my childhood, but the lyrics are there, persistent as ever.

Problem is, I was WRONG!!! The song about the lost glasses has NOTHING to do with the song about rams and tams and guleys. The spectacles song (I soon learned from wonderful google) is officially called "The Quartermaster's Song" and has lyrics like this:

There are lice, lice, lice, lice
living on the mice
at the store!
at the store!
There are lice, lice, lice, lice
living on the mice
at the Quartermaster's store!

Then the chorus goes on to sing about blindness and missing glasses, which probably makes it really GROSS to run into the lice on the mice in the store! There are also rats as big as alley cats and roaches as big as football coaches and, get this, BEAVERS WITH LITTLE MEAT CLEAVERS at the Quartermaster's store--but our poor hero can't even see them because he is BLIND. What horrors abound at the Quartermaster's store!!!

And these are the songs we teach our Scouts. Little eight year old boys sitting around campfires singing about homicidal beavers.

But here's the funniest thing. I decided I would google MY lyrics and found that the song I thought Delise had posted about was in fact called A Ram Sam Sam (not Tam Tam, silly me!) and I found this absolutely delightful YouTube video of the musical gem. I think this particular version is from Brazil. Enjoy:



I've watched this a few times and it makes me belly laugh every time.

Okay, now I'm coming back to edit this because I found another funny one. I think it's some kind of Central American preschool (where two out of every 24 children are randomly chosen to wear masks made out of--what?? paper plates?? note the kids in the middle of the row). And they sing it soo sloooooow. And they say "bugi bugi" instead of "guli guli". What country is this?? What is going on? And why is this on Youtube?? Truly bizarre.



Okay, now I'm coming back to edit AGAIN because, you know how YouTube does that annoying new function where other videos pop up on the bottom of the video you just watched? Well when I finished watching the Central American Masked Preschoolers version of my Guli Guli song, for some reason, YouTube thought this next little gem from (I think) Germany would be an appropriate counterpart.

All I can say is this is one of the freakiest things I've ever seen. Crazy European guitar playing guy in casual wear, then in a suit (and what is he holding?), then in casual wear again; childish cartoon drawings of freaky looking animals, including beavers (beavers again! maybe inspired by the beaver from the Spectacles song, who knows!!) and strange gun wielding robbers popping out from behind trees. And I think this is supposed to be a children's video. I really do. You must see to believe:



The human race. We're hilarious.

Are there any bizarre songs from your childhood you'd like to share?? Any Youtube videos of people from other countries singing those songs? Please share, if only to brighten our day!

And now, I promise, I am done.

Thanksgiving!

So we piled the family in the Tahoe and set out over the river and through the woods to Amy and Dave's for Thanksgiving. We went with Tony & Cindy and their kids and my mom and dad too. A great time was had by all. Selected highlights:

-Although Wyatt wasn't the happiest camper in the car, he officially reached the 20 pound mark at the pediatrician's and can now face forward in his big boy seat. It helped. He did throw up and spent some time bucking around against his straps and screaming--but he spent less time doing that than I thought he would, which I count as a success!

-We drove on I-70 on the way there and saw some beautiful sights. The traffic got kind of backed up as we reached Denver, though, and at the end I felt like I was on one of those Disneyland rides where you think you're near the front of the line, but then you turn and notice 14,000 people still ahead of you. We finally staggered into the Chick-Fil-A near Dave and Amy's house, starving and racing to the restroom . . . but once we made it to our destination it was worth it.

-Amy and Dave have a beautiful home. I love their neighborhood, and Amy has done such a good job decorating. And it's so CLEAN. I noticed that even all the jeans and t-shirts in her closet were nicely folded and stacked in neat rows. She always was the most organized sister in the family.



-Wyatt and his cousin Jack were old enough to actually interact, although I wouldn't call it playing on Wyatt's part. Maybe next year for that. But it will be fun for those boys to have each other as cousins. And don't they both have the most beautiful eyes? Brownie Brown and Bluie Blue?

-For a 25 year old hosting her first Thanksgiving for a TON of people, Amy did an awesome job orchestrating everything and fitting us all and having enough pots and pans and plates and forks to go around. Here are some shots of all the hullaballo:




-Thanksgiving dinner was delicioso. Also, it was one of the only Thanksgivings in the last 8 years that I haven't been in charge of, so it was mucho delicioso for me!! Since Amy and Dave aren't big turkey eaters, they have a tradition of eating Chinese takeout from Panda Express, so we were able to enjoy some orange chicken along with our yams and stuffing and potatoes. Mmmmm!

-Thursday night we went bowling. I am a terrible bowler, and no matter what advice anyone gives me ("turn your arm this way!" "aim at this arrow!" "tuck your leg in!") I guttered one ball of the two EVERY SINGLE FRAME. The weird thing is that I only guttered one. I never guttered both. Isn't that strange? Probably psychological on my part. But it was fun to watch everyone else bowl, and the kids absolutely loved it. We had bumpers on the kids' lane and they had a riot. Good times.

-One of my only hesitancies about going to CO for Thanksgiving was that I would miss Black Friday shopping. (I know people think I'm crazy, but I think it's fun). But it turns out that Amy likes Black Friday, too, so she came and picked me up from the hotel on Friday morning at 5:45 and we hit the Target and the outlet stores. There was a line wrapped around Target and I didn't get EVERYTHING I was looking for, but almost everything. When we got home at 8:00, I'd expected to see all the cousins up and running around, but everyone at Amy's house was still completely zonked. Here's a pic of the kids, sleeping underneath Amy's ginormous Christmas tree:



-Later on that morning, we went to a fun indoor community water park. The kids had a BALL. Here are some more pics:




-After the water park, we dried the kids off, fed them peanut butter sandwiches, and were on the road back home by 12:30. We decided to come home on Fri. instead of Sat. because we had so much to do this weekend and Forrest was heading out of town on Monday. The ride home was pretty easy, except for occasional Wyatt screaming episodes, but those were to be expected--and we made good time, pulling into our garage by 8:30 without any negative incidents to report.

-And it was a good thing we came home when we did. We were awakened at 2:00 a.m. by Elise throwing up, and later on that morning, Jonas, Wyatt and I were all pukey and crampy and miserable. Can you imagine what it would have been like driving across the country in such a state? Count your many blessings indeed. I bet Elise alone threw up 5 times. We heard that Amy's Jack was sick, too--but luckily, Tony and Cindy's family and my Mom and Dad were able to make it home without any ickiness. I was glad to hear it.

-And now I'm home, surrounded by piles of Christmas boxes and a half-decorated tree and mounds of paper for this PTA thing I'm doing (I had to staple over 1,000 packets, which is very tedious to describe but much more tedious to do). Forrest was a gem and did ALL the laundry in the house on Saturday while I was sick, though. He is a good man.

And that's it for now. I've got to get to the Christmas decorations! So thanks, Amy and Dave, for a GREAT time!!!

Wyatt the Walker (kinda) and Wyatt the Talker

So Wyatt has two new feats to show off on the blog. One he's been perfecting for a few weeks now, but I'm just getting around to posting it. Here's Wyatt the Walker (kinda) And please excuse the bad mommy singing:




But even better than that, today Wyatt officially said his first word. Although he's been saying lots of Da Da Da's and Ma Ma Ma's (and he also loves "Wow!" and "Hey!"), he hasn't said anything purposeful until today. I was mopping the floor and he crawled over to the Swiffer Wet Jet and knocked it over. I said "Uh oh!" and looked right up at me and said "Uh oh!" too! For the rest of the day, he's been performing his new skill. He even said it to Grandma Sweat on the phone. So here he is, Wyatt the Talker (and please excuse the less than G rated bath footage):




As far as other news goes, we went to the kids' Reflections Contest awards ceremony last night, and both Ethan and Jonas won first place! Elise was up against some stiff competition and didn't win a medal--but I told her that she got 1st place in Best Attitude of All as she was complementary of both her brothers and gave a friend who won a hug and didn't get upset even once. Good kid. So here are all three of my good kids:




So this is a good Proud Mama post.

In other news, I've been asked to post once a month on the Segullah blog. If you want to visit, you can see my first post about LDS lit (the niche I was asked to blog about) here. Much different writing for a "public" blog like that rather than my little family and friends blog here. But fun, too.

And last but not least, we had Mindy and Pete's girls for a couple of days and they went home last night. Mindy and Peter were visiting their old homestead in Seattle. Such cute kids. (Bella and Ayva, not Mindy and Pete--although they are both very attractive as well.) But I'm also glad I don't have six kids every day of my life!! It is fun to be an aunt, though. I have THREE pregnant sisters in law who are all due within a month of each other (Mindy's first, then Cindy, then Andi--all in May). What a fun month that will be! I get to visit new babies and not be the one giving birth and nursing in the middle of the night!!!

That's about it from here. The weeks keep rushing by so quickly that I go to check my blog and I'm amazed it's been 7 days. Life.

Tonight I Am Tired

I realize that I should probably be going to bed. But I haven't posted in over a week, and I know from my experience reading others' blogs that you get about a one week grace period without a new post before loved ones start getting irritable. (I assume that only loved ones care enough to get irritable. The random guy from Venezuela who did a blog search on "sumo costumes" and ended up here probably doesn't care so much.)

This week has been another busy one. The last week off track. The kids went fishing with Forrest on Monday, so that was a highlight for them, and I took them to the skate park and swimming lessons and they had a sleep over and went to Thanksgiving Point with Grandma--and I know that sounds like a lot but it really wasn't that much. But I still feel like I've been rushing from the proverbial pillar to the proverbial post and I'm not entirely sure why. I can say that having a house full of kids and husband (Forrest hasn't traveled much the last couple of weeks) has given me a hankering for peace-and-quiet. Not that I don't love them. Of course I love them. But I also love my peace and quiet--my ability to decide what I want to do for the day and then do it without being pulled in 10 different directions. (Okay, now I know Ethan is probably reading this, and Ethan suffers from Oldest Child Parent Pleasing Syndrome--OCPPS--and I recognize the symptoms because I had it too. I would like to officially assure Ethan that I love him dearly and that of all the children that could be rampaging through my house all day long, I would pick the four I have out of a lineup, because they truly are good kids. So no guilt, Ethan. This is just your ol' Mom who likes a little alone time, just like you do.)

Anything else exciting? Hmmm. Some neighbors of ours turned in some other neighbors of ours (the family of Ethan's friend, whose mother happens to be the District Attorney) to all the major news outlets, writing an email with the heading "Please Help!" that went on to describe how Ethan's friend's family had wild parties and unruly teenagers. Although these things are probably true, the news organizations ran like dogs to vomit to the completely un-newsworthy story, only because the mom is the D.A., of course (what neighborhood doesn't have unruly teenagers???) and parked out in front of their house all day doing foreboding "breaking news" segments about beer bottles found in the gutter. It was all disgusting, and I felt particularly embarrassed that our neighborhood and some members of the church would stoop to such a level. Ethan's friend came to our door the night of the incident, crying (Ethan was fishing) and told me, "Some people in the neighborhood called the news to tell them that we're a bad family, so now we have to move," and I gave him a hug on the porch and thought about the parable of the woman taken in adultery and casting stones and all that. The poor kid. The poor family. But then I also realized that I had been guilty of some gossip about this family myself (although I didn't call the news) and needed to repent, too. It's so easy to be judgmental, though. Righteous indignation is one of the easiest--and most potentially destructive--emotions we humans can fall prey to. So easy to be prideful, and offended, and call for justice. So easy to forget the eleven year old boy who's had every news station in SLC aiming their cameras at his front door to let Utah taxpayers know that the D.A. has a "bad family."

Sorry. That story was kind of a downer.

So I'll finish on an up note. I went to the AML Writers Conference today--for a little while at least--and enjoyed it. In between AML conference sessions, I headed back up Redwood Road and went to the boys' karate tournament. They both did particularly well in board breaking and came home with second place trophies in that event. (Sorry no pictures!!) Also, Tony came by and dropped off the gorgeous cover he's created for my book and I love it. Can't wait to see it on the book in real life.

And now I've done my duty and updated the blog and can go to bed in peace!!

Hallstromween

When I started typing the word "Halloween," my ever helpful computer automatically suggested "Hallstrom" . . . so I thought I'd combine the two. Although the word "Hallstromween" sounds strangely like what Wyatt and I did about three months ago :-).

Halloween was a success around here, though, and we have the mounds of candy to prove it. The festivities started on Tuesday night, when I earned myself the motherhood badge of honor and took my three kids and three of their friends to the "Haunted Corn Maze" all by myself. (Forrest was out of town so I got a babysitter for Wyatt). I was a little nervous about it at first because we went to this same corn maze last year with Cindy and her kids and my Mom and got hopelessly lost--I still have flashbacks of us hacking through the corn with crying children in our arms--and that was the NON haunted version. So this year Ethan decides that he wants to go to the haunted version--even though he was decidedly spooked by the Party City Halloween display . . . so I gave him credit for trying to overcome his fears. He tells all his friends about his plans and even invites a couple, which makes it pretty much a given that I can't back out. Then, of course, I put it off until the DAY BEFORE HALLOWEEN. But I followed through (yes, I'm switching back to past tense. I don't know why I popped into present tense for a while back there, but I don't have the time or wherewithal to change it, so you can mark me down 1/3 of a grade if you'd like). The kids had a lot of fun, and it was scary but not TOOOO scary, and we didn't get very lost. Just lost enough to have fun with it. And Ethan and Elise and Jonas did their little "1-2-3 THANK YOU MOM!" chant that they save for times when I've gone particularly above and beyond (this also applies when I buy them Slurpees for no apparent reason and also when I let them stay up 30 minutes later than normal to finish watching a show.)

So here's the rundown of actual Halloween:



I took Wyatt, all dressed up in his Spidery goodness, to see Great Grandpa and Great Grandma Hiatt. Elise came along for the ride too. Grandpa treated us all to a great tune on the piano, and Elise was duly impressed. We also went to my Mom's work (Elise called it "spacious") and showed Wyatt to all the incredibly nice women in the office who will take a baby in a spider costume over a sheaf of heath benefit paperwork any day.

Then the kids got ready for trick or treating. This year marked a milestone because ALL THE KIDS WENT WITHOUT US!!!! Elise went with some girls in the neighborhood and Ethan and Jonas went with some of Ethan's friends. (Ethan didn't seem to mind letting Jonas tag along. In fact, I think he WANTED Jonas to come. I don't know if Joe realizes what an anomaly it is to have a brother in 6th grade who will let his 1st grade brother go trick or treating with him and his buddies.)

Here's a shot of Elise with four of her girlfriends. Elise and her friend Tayler dressed up as twinner "Punk Pirates":




I also included a close up of Elise, simply because this is probably what she'll look like when she's 16 and going through her Goth phase. I think I'm going to have to be vigilant about the 16 year old Goth boys.

Jonas dressed up as a Ninja. Luckily for me, he was perfectly happy to wear a costume that Ethan had worn a few years before, just so long as I bought him a $3 pair of "Ninja swords".




And, as you can see above, Ethan was a Sumo wrestler this year. His costume was hilarious. It came with a little fan that you stick in a mesh pocket that kept the costume inflated, and a very itchy wig. The little fan occasionally got knocked off kilter and would start buzzing like a warplane in a nosedive, and the neck strap was really tight. The costume wasn't the most comfortable thing Ethan's every worn, but I think he believed it was worth it for the humor factor. But barely.

And here's one more cute picture of Wyatt. Since Forrest and I stayed at home and handed out candy, Wyatt didn't do any trick or treating . . . but I don't think he minded. He was ready to get out of his spider getup a few minutes after I wrestled him into it for picture taking purposes:



And that's it for October 2007. Can you believe it's three weeks to Thanksgiving??? Then it's Christmas??? Then Wyatt is ONE!?!?! Amazing.

I'm Done! I'm Done!

I'm done I'm done I'm done!

I just send in my final edit to Parables. Woo hoo! There will still be some ticky tacky editing to do, of course, but the big job is done now.

Hooray hooray hooray.

Now, to celebrate, I will share with you the writing talents of my progeny. These are the entries they wrote this week for the Reflections Contest at their elementary school (literature category). The theme is "I Can Make a Difference By":

Jonas (the ruminator)--For first graders, they can dictate to a parent who types it up.

I Can Make a Difference By
Learning How to Eat Healthy

A long time ago, there was a boy named Jack that eated a lot of junk food in his life. He started eating junk food when he was four years old. He got really sick. He loved to eat gummy bears, and suckers and candy bars and chocolate, and he especially loved brownies, cookies, and ice cream.

But, when he turned thirteen, he was driving in a car and he saw the fire department take this really really sick kid in an ambulance. This kid eated a lot of candy, just like Jack. The guy that got sick, his parents talked to Jack and said that he was eating too much junk food. And Jack thought, “Just like me!”

So Jack started to eat good food. He eated broccoli, carrots, meat, and a lot more good food. Now he was just like a plain kid. He felt really good, so he kept doing it for the rest of his life. He was a really good person.

**Any of you who know Jonas understand how hilarious this story is. This is the child who will stuff a single pea inside a roll so he doesn't have to feel the texture of it on his tongue, and if he eats it that way, we're all glad. Do you think this has been affecting him psychologically at all?? :-)**

Elise (the poet)--

Our Earth

I can make a difference by
helping everyone worldwide.
Keeping our world nice and clean,
and never being rude and mean.

Everyone should help out
And when we’re done we’ll scream and shout,
“Keep our world a tidy place!”
And we’ll have a smile on our face.

So when you think about this rhyme
don’t commit any crime
against the Earth or its land
and all the Earth will be hand in hand.

**She wrote it all by herself, except for one instance where she was stuck on the line "So when you think about this poem" and couldn't find a good rhyme. So I suggested changing "poem" to "rhyme". Hopefully that's not against reflections contest rules. If so, it's here on the blog and I'll be busted. Good poem, though, don't you think?**

Ethan (the fiction writer). This piece is a little longer but it's worth it:

I Can Make a Difference by Helping Animals


Kevin needed some time alone. The day had been stressful. He forgot his homework and had to face the seemingly always agitated Mr. Benson. He got an F and two D’s in Math and History. Sometimes being a 13 year old can be difficult. That’s why Kevin had his haven, the forest behind his woody Minnesota home. Nobody else lived in that area except his best friend, Chris, and his family. And Kevin preferred it that way. That’s what made his forest hideout so peaceful.

Our main character forged his way to the familiar secluded area by the creek. As he lay there, half conscious of the woods around him, that is where it all changed. Kevin heard a rustling noise in the bushes somewhere. Trying not to think of wolves or bears he made his way toward the shrubs to his right. Kevin cautiously parted the bushes and found not a deadly carnivore but a small rabbit.

The small creature was brown and looked young. It was laying on its side and kicking its leg somewhat sadly, rustling the bush. And to Kevin’s surprise, there was a small pool of blood under it. Kevin slowly turned the injured animal over to discover a deep gash on the poor rabbit’s left leg!

“Oh, what happened to you little rabbit?” Kevin asked the small animal in his arms, not expecting an answer but soon discovering one. To Kevin’s left, large doglike prints trailed away from the bush.

“A wolf!” muttered Kevin under his breath. Being very careful not to hurt the wounded rabbit cradled in his hands, Kevin raced towards home. His parents weren’t there at the moment, which made this all the easier. Kevin snatched a shoebox from the closet and covered the bottom of the inside. He then set the rabbit on its right side and filled two bowls with food. One had water and the other chopped carrots and cabbage.

“Now to name you,” Kevin told the rabbit. “I know! I’ll call you Lucky!”

And from then on, Kevin cared for Lucky. He fed him and cleaned his cage. The day after he found Lucky he took him to the vet to have the recovering rabbit’s leg cleaned and healed. As Lucky became more and more active, Kevin allowed him to explore more and more of his house. Lucky especially enjoyed Kevin’s room. After 6 months, Lucky’s leg had recovered completely and it was time to let him go.
So Kevin sadly carried his rabbit friend back to the spot by the creek. Kevin slowly walked towards the bush where he had met Lucky and set him down.

“Goodbye Lucky,” said Kevin miserably. “Try not to run into any more wolves ok?” Deciding not to talk in fear of accidentally crying, Kevin turned and ran home.

The next day, Kevin walked back to his forest area with his mind on Lucky. He lay down and sighed. Just then, he felt a soft, warm weight on his stomach. Kevin sat up. There was a rabbit sitting happily on his stomach with a scar on its left leg.

“LUCKY!” cried Kevin in delight.

From that day on, for the next two years, Kevin visited Lucky every day. After Lucky had passed away, Kevin schooled for 3 years and went to college. When Kevin turned 28, he started the Lucky Animal Shelter for injured or abandoned animals. After 2 years, the LAS had over 4,000 different animals all inhabiting 42 different shelters in the U.S! Ranging from Armadillos to Yaks, this company was truly exotic. And what about Lucky? Well, he had 7 offspring with a rabbit named Lucy and was buried outside of the first ever built LAS building.

Moral: Helping another creature, whether human or animal, can pay off.


THE END

**I know I'm prejudiced, but Ethan has a more inherent understanding of how to write fiction than almost any high schooler I ever taught. He's got the dialogue down, the use of "significant detail," how to move the story forward using action instead of summary. He wrote this completely all on his own in about an hour--even typed it. I didn't see it until we sent it to the printer. And what kind of eleven year old uses words like "haven"?**

Check out my new website

I've been thinking about putting up an author website before the book comes out, primarily for advertising purposes (in case anybody googles me) and to allow for book clubs to contact me (I'm hoping to use book clubs as a way to spread word of mouth) or any other opportunities that might arise. I made it myself using Yahoo. It's not very fancy . . . but it looks pretty good to me. And, of course, there's not much on it yet because there's not much to PUT on it yet. But it's a beginning. What do you think?? Check it out at angelahallstrom.com.

Quickies!

So, I just finished the chat for my class and have a ton of papers to grade before tomorrow and have to get my final edits in to Parables by the end of the week and have been staying up at night waaaaaay too late writing and thinking about how I'm going to get people to buy my book once it comes out and what the cover should look like and what the font should look like and how I'm going to ever answer the question "What is your book about?" and tomorrow I have an Enrichment committee meeting to plan the Christmas party and Presidency visits and ahhhh . . . so I don't have a lot of time. But I do want to post (quickly!) about our fun last weekend, just so I don't leave you all hanging while I am in extremis.

1. Went to Darlene's condo on Friday night to work on my book. Darlene is awesome and just wrote the first draft of a novel in a month. Hooorraaay Darlene! I stayed up way late working and had so much fun chatting w/ a good friend in a super duper clean condo and eating yummy Mexican food. Thanks, again, Darlene!

2. Went to kids' piano recital on Saturday. So cute. Here are pictures documenting the cuteness, as well as video of my talented and beautiful progeny:










3. Took the kids to Regional Conference on Sunday at the Conference Center in SLC. (My sainted mother stayed home with Wyatt and CLEANED THE BASEMENT while he slept. Did I say she was sainted?) What a great experience. Not only did the kids get the chance to experience the gorgeous new conf center, built while we were in MN, but we got to hear the prophet speak live and in person. It was a long talk, too. Longer than I've heard him speak in quite some time. Lots of good advice about marriage and loving each other.

So that's my weekend nutshell. More, soon, when I have a minute . . . or a half a minute . . .

My Name is Wyatt and I . . .

. . . love a nice tasty meal of floor food

. . . automatically reject anything I would have eaten off of the floor if it's given to me in my high chair

. . . have seven teeth

. . . bonk my head at least three times a day

. . . like to take all of the books out of my Mom's shelves

. . . have a love affair with shoes. Dad's are the tastiest

. . . still wake up at least twice a night and regularly rise for the day at 5:45 a.m. My parents are easy targets and just give me a bottle in bed. Victory!

. . . am the loudest baby in the Country Crossing 1st Ward. And there are LOTS of babies in the Country Crossing 1st ward.

. . . get this big, goofy, happy grin whenever I see my mom or my dad.

. . . have discovered toilet water. Almost as tasty as floor food!

. . . have also discovered toilet paper. So many fun things in the bathroom.

. . . but nothing's as fun as the kitty's room. Kitty food to eat, PLUS, kitty water to knock over, plus Kitty herself to chase and grab. I dare her to retaliate!

. . . am almost too big for my car seat, and I AM too big for my Baby Bjorn. I'm so big, in fact, that I'm almost not a baby anymore!

Isn't he cute??

You know how I said I wasn't going to stress out about losing 20 pounds?

Not working.

So tell me if this is irritating, or if I'm just in denial.

Yesterday I went to my SIXTY MINUTE LONG BUTT KICKING, DRENCHED IN SWEAT, PUSH MYSELF SO HARD THAT I THOUGHT I MIGHT PUKE cycling class. Taught, by the way, by my lovely and very sweet neighbor Stephenie. Who has very nice legs.

Afterward, I went to the dreaded locker room scale (meaning: accurate) and weighed myself. I'd been feeling a bit cheerful since when I weighed myself the week before, I'd lost two pounds. I was daring to tell myself, okay, get your butt kicked three times a week, watch what you eat, try not to eat after 7:30 p.m., seriously cut back on the Diet Coke and drink more water . . . maybe, just maybe, you can lost 1 or 2 pounds a week. Maybe. And wouldn't that be great.

And then I saw the scale.

Yes, ladies and gentlemen, not only had I gained back the two pounds I'd lost the week before, but I'd PUT ON TWO MORE. So now I officially weigh 2 pounds more than I did at my 6 week postpartum checkup. My pants do fit better and I know all about muscle weighing more than fat and all that BALONEY, but seriously, I should be seeing some kind of progress. Give me SOMETHING. Five pounds, even.

So now I'm done ranting. See how well I take my own advice???

And I think I'm going to have to start keeping a food journal or go back on stupid Weight Watchers and force myself to be the party pooper lady who won't eat the cake at the party. Wah, wah, poor poor me and my poor poor metabolism.

I guess I wasn't done ranting. Now I am.

Changing It

Okay, so I spent last night thinking about my little story intro an I've decided to change it. The main reason for this is I have too much gratitude in my heart for Hamline to disparage them publicly. Even though it was just one teacher who made some thoughtless comments, Hamline works so hard to be inclusive that I just don't feel it's fair to paint them with that kind of a brush. (Even though it is a good story, no?) So here's the new version:

==
Throughout my life, I’ve had a number of small crushes on favorite teachers. Although I never resorted to stalking any of them, like Beth does in this story, a word of praise or encouragement from a teacher (particularly a teacher of the intense and intellectually passionate sort) could keep me buoyed up for days. When I eventually became a high school English teacher, I never forgot the kind of power an educator can have in shaping the way a student sees herself. Because of these personal experiences, the idea of writing about a girl who moves from admiring and respecting a teacher to obsessing over him had been rolling around in my head for years. I’d just never found the right combination of story and thematic juice to make it work.

After teaching high school for five years (and no, no one ever stalked me . . . that I know of), I quit my job and moved with my husband and two small kids from Utah to Minnesota. I was lucky enough to find a fabulous MFA program at Hamline University in St. Paul. I loved everything about the school: the students were smart and creative; the faculty was stellar. I wanted more than anything to impress all of them—to feel as if I belonged. But as Mormon from Utah who lived in a split-level in the suburbs, drove a minivan, and spent most of her day sweeping up goldfish crackers and rewinding Blue’s Clues videos, I wasn’t Hamline’s typical student. I imagined my classmates and professors heading home to artistically decrepit Minneapolis lofts, gazing out the window at the snowdrifts and contemplating the great philosophical ideas of our time while I fit writing into the nooks and crannies of my day—during naptime, late at night. Although the vast majority of people in my MFA program were unfailingly kind and generous to me, I often struggled with feeling like a bit of an imposter. Could a person with my biography ever be taken seriously?

“Who Do You Think You Are?” was written during this time in my life. It arose out of my desire to explore our need for validation from people we respect, but who we fear secretly dismiss us because of who we are. Or who they think we are. Then, of course, there’s the ultimate loneliness that comes when a person discovers how difficult it is to really know anyone—even someone you think you love. Even yourself. It’s a hard lesson, but I hope it makes a good story.
==

Plus, the other version was waaay too long. I do tend to go on.

Who Do You Think You Are?

WARNING: This post is long and full of psychological rumination. Avoid if you are not in the mood. Or simply skim, if you feel like humoring me. Also, no pictures. Sorry.

So the title for this blog post is interesting because it describes my psychological state over the past few days, and it's also the actual title of a story I wrote about a high school girl who stalks her English teacher (it's not as creepy as it sounds). I found out yesterday that the story just won first place--and 500 smackeroonies!--in a fiction contest sponsored by a SLC Lit Mag called Salt Flats Annual. Because I'm not too hip to the Salt Lake writing scene, I wasn't familiar with the magazine before I submitted, but I noticed an item about the contest in the SL Trib right next to the Irreantum Fiction contest call for submissions waaaaaay back in May and thought I'd give it a shot.

And I won! I couldn't (and still can't, quite) believe it.

This will be my first official publication in a non-Mormon magazine. I've sent out a few stories to other mainstream lit mags here and there, but no luck until yesterday. And now the editor has asked me to send in a few paragraphs detailing the writing process--basically the genesis of the story--and this story has a much more interesting, and potentially volatile, genesis than a lot of my other work. Here's my rough attempt so far at describing the experience (I'm still not quite ready to send it off, because I need to mull and fiddle a bit more):

===

Throughout my life, I’ve had a number of small crushes on favorite teachers. Although I never resorted to stalking any of them, like Beth does in this story, a word of praise or encouragement from a teacher (particularly a teacher of the intense and intellectually passionate sort) could keep me buoyed up for days. When I eventually became a high school English teacher, I never forgot the kind of power a teacher can have in shaping the way a student sees herself.

After teaching high school for five years (and no, no one ever stalked me), I quit my job and moved with my husband and two small kids from Utah to Minnesota. For the first time in my life, I didn’t have school to look forward to in September. I started to feel a bit frantic. Who was I without school? So I decided to take a community ed creative writing class. Although I’d puttered around writing fiction here and there, I’d never considered myself a serious writer. But my creative writing teacher felt I had potential (see what teachers can do?) and referred me to an MFA program at Hamline University in St. Paul.

I loved everything about Hamline. The students were smart and creative. The faculty was stellar. I wanted more than anything to impress all of them—to feel as if I belonged. But the truth of it was that I was a Mormon from Utah who lived in a split-level in the suburbs, drove a minivan, and spent most of her day sweeping up goldfish crackers and rewinding Blue’s Clues videos. I imagined my classmates and professors heading home to artistically decrepit Minneapolis lofts, gazing out the window at the snowdrifts and contemplating the great philosophical conundrums of our time while I boiled macaroni noodles. Although almost all of the people in my MFA program were unfailingly kind and generous to me, I often struggled with feeling like a bit of an impostor. Could a person with my biography ever be taken seriously?

“Who Do You Think You Are?” was inspired by a day when my perceived otherness became starkly real to me. I was sitting in class listening to a lecture by a professor I didn’t know well, but I liked her and admired her. The topic somehow turned to Mormonism. She related a story about a negative encounter with Mormonism that some of her Native American friends had experienced and said, “I just don’t see how anyone can be involved with that church.” Although this professor had no idea I was LDS, many of the students in class did, and it seemed like every gaze in the room turned toward me. My heart pounding, I raised my hand and told the professor that I was in fact a Mormon and proceeded to stumble all over myself explaining why the experience she recounted wasn’t indicative of the way most Mormons behaved, and certainly didn’t represent my own beliefs. Of course, the professor apologized profusely (with so few Mormons in Minnesota, who would think that one would wind up in an MFA program??), but I spent the rest of the day with feelings of embarrassment, guilt, indignation and sorrow roiling around in my gut.

“Who Do You Think You Are?” arose out of my desire to explore this experience. The year before, I’d started a story about a high school girl who stalks her teacher, but it didn’t take off until I coupled it with the idea of being rejected by someone you respect because of who you are. Or who he thinks you are. Then, of course, there’s the ultimate loneliness that comes when a person discovers how hard it is to really know anyone—even someone you think you love. Even yourself. It’s a sad lesson, but I hope it makes a good story.

===

So that's my rundown. Reading it again I realize it needs a little work--first drafts and all.

At any rate, I said at the beginning of this post that I've been struggling with the whole idea of who I am--or who I think I am--all weekend. Julie Beck's talk in Sunday conference gave me a lot to think about. So I went to bed Sunday night, my mind spinning about how I spend too much time writing and reading and teaching and not enough time preparing healthy meals and cleaning the house and reading my scriptures. (Yeah, yeah, I know my house is in fine shape and I try and make sure that my kids at least get some canned peaches with their potato chips and hot dogs at lunch and even though I haven't quite made it through the Gospels yet--and I started in January--at least I'm trying, yada yada yada). But the truth of it is, I was telling Forrest just last week how I think we women in the church need a good butt kickin' every once in a while--that maybe folks should stop being so scared of hurting our feelings. So I felt like a bit of a hypocrite when the butt-kicking started and my initial reaction to Beck's talk was, "True, yes . . . but that doesn't apply to me, really, because I'm trying and I'm doing my best and I'm not a natural homemaker," and on and on with the same little januty tune I hum to myself when I start feeling guilty.

I have an amazing ability to do a little mental jig and dance my way straight through guilt to justification. It's true!

So I decided Sunday night that a little priority rearranging might be in order. The problem was, the idea of the priority rearranging made me sad. But I wasn't sure if I was feeling sad because I truly didn't want to give up what I was doing because it was important to me, or because I was simply being rebellious and didn't want to change.

Then . . . I open up my email inbox Monday morning and there's the email from Salt Flat's editor and a nice note from the contest judge and the scaffolding of reason I'd so carefully constructed the night before came down and landed with a poof at my feet.

Sigh.

Here's what I really believe. I think. We juggle a lot of balls as moms and every once in a while we drop one. It's important not to drop the children (ouch!), or the husband, or the gospel, or the little fragile ball made of glass that contains our own spirit. Sometimes we bobble these balls, but dropping them is very messy and involves a lot of time and energy in clean-up. Some of the balls I'm juggling are extraneous balls and can make it even more complicated to keep the important ones safely off the ground. (These balls could be called, say, "Oprah," or "Spending lots of time reading the blogs of people I've never met and never will," or "Wasting precious psychological energy worrying about the twenty pounds I want to lose.") But here's the rub! What if I decide to do a switcheroo add a "dusting the baseboards" ball and delete the "working on my writing" ball? My writing ball is very pretty and light and relatively easy to catch. The baseboards ball is very heavy and liable to crash into other balls. It might even fall to the ground and stub my toe. Therefore, perhaps it's wise--for me--if the baseboards ball only come out very rarely. If at all. :-). For some people, the baseboards ball is very important because if they're not juggling it, they feel icky and dirty and unworthy and can't live with themselves. But then there are other people (like me) who didn't even KNOW there was a ball dedicated solely to baseboard dusting until a year or so ago. (Yes, this means I never dusted a single baseboard in my life until 2006.)

So enough with the metaphor. The point is, even though I think I'm a mature 35 year old woman with a mind of her own and a little bit of confidence and experience in her pocket, sometimes I feel just like I did in high school, where I spent part of my day with the drama crowd, part of my day with the Seminary/Madrigal kids, and part of my day with the cheerleaders. (I'll never forget the dirty looks some of those drama kids game me on the first day of acting class when I showed up in my cheerleading skirt. They came to put up with me eventually, though). I still don't know who I am sometimes, or who I want to be, or how I want other people to see me. Today I worked on the piece about my story (the drama kid part of me), went to a Relief Society Presidency meeting and helped put up the chairs in our new building (Madrigal/Seminary part of me . . . you see where this is going), and dropped Wyatt of in the childcare at Lifetime Fitness so I could lift weights in the barbell strength class with a bunch of smooth skinned chicky babes (cheerleader).

But we're all complicated. We all are. Just not everybody blogs about it. :-) I was hoping to tie this rambling post up with a nice little bow, or at least with a final thought about identity and purpose and choices and obedience . . . but I've written so much that it's now 11:30. I will sign off with this:

The t.v. is on and Jennifer Lopez is a guest on David Letterman. I think she's pregnant. She's trying to hide it, but her dress is waaaaay to billowy. Good for J-Lo! Now she can start juggling, too.

School Pics

The kids came home with their school pictures today, and they're so cute I thought I'd share:





I went against my innate desire for control and let them pick their own background colors. I think the pictures turned out well, though. Ethan looks so studious and mature, Elise looks loverly with her looooong pretty hair, and Jonas is the picture of first grade with that missing front tooth.

So, two other short items. First, if you haven't read it already, the cover story for this week's Newsweek is "A Mormon Journey: The Making of Mitt Romney." Give it a read--it's interesting. There's a practicing Mormon on the Newsweek staff--Elise Soukup--and she's noted as one of the contributors to the story. As a result, they get most of the facts straight, imo. Don't know about the interpretation of the facts, but that's an individual thing.

Also, as some of you know I'm no longer working with Irreantum, primarily because I've been soooo busy lately and needed to let something go. I've loved my time with the magazine, but after about three years it seemed a good time for me to move on. But, because I can't leave well enough alone, I've joined the editorial board of another LDS magazine called Segullah. You can take a look at the Segullah website and link to the blog here. I won't have nearly the workload I did with Irreatum, and the three women in my writers' group, Darlene, Sharlee, and Kathy, are already involved--so I'll be able to associate with some really cool chickies. It should be fun.

And now it's conference weekend. Hooray! I'm even kind of glad that it's rainy and cold. I'm looking forward to holing up in my house and listening to the talks and eating soup. Mmmmmm . . . Fall.

Jonas Leo

Jonas Leo Hallstrom, 4 months old, Topsail Island, North Carolina


Today Jonas was the V.I.P. in his 1st grade classroom, and his dad and I got to come to class for 30 minutes and tell everybody what's so cool about him. And there's plenty cool about him! It was fun to spend some time with him at school and listen to him talk about what he likes, what he thinks, what he's good at, and what makes him happy.

Here's a shot of Jonas waxing philosophical about karate (or how one of his favorite animals is the Phoenix--didn't know that; or how his best friend is his brother, his sister, and his cat; or how his favorite fruit is the grape):



Notice how he's holding his hand and there's a band aid on his finger? This was the best story of the day: Forrest and I pull up in front of the school and start walking toward the front door when who comes screaming around the corner, crying, holding his hand, and missing one shoe, but Jonas! It was almost surreal. We were 10 minutes early for the VIP presentation, and apparently Jonas was playing at recess and got stung on the finger by a bee. (One of his biggest fears has now come true!) He was so freaked out that he just started running for the front doors of the school (and ran right out of one shoe) and ran straight into us. Pretty amazing timing, I'd say. So we took him into the office and they put a paste of baking soda and water on the sting--I cure I hadn't heard about, but that seemed to work great. Then he calmed down and was able to use the story as an excellent opener for his VIP presentation. (I think the kids liked the closer better, though, because he passed around one of his favorite candy bars--Kit Kats.)

One of the other highlights of the presentation was during the Q & A period, when one of the kids asked Jonas, "Do you like Jesus?"

Another kid in the class: "He does like Jesus! Everybody likes Jesus!"

Jonas's friend Kyle: "I don't. I HATE Jesus!"

Entire class: Collective gasp.

I do think that Jonas likes Jesus, but he never officially answered the question . . . :-)

Jonas is such a good kid--smart, confident, great at math and making stuff with legos and snow skiing and Nintendo. Most of all, he's kind. He cares about his family and his friends, and even though he can be silly at home--and still won't eat more than his repertoire of 12 things, no matter how hard we try to break him--he's been such a joy to parent and it's been so fun to watch him grow up. We were proud last week that he got the "Student of the Month" award in his class for the month of September. They give out Student of the Month awards according to a theme, and the theme that month was "Respect." Jonas's teacher wrote on his award that Jonas is thoughtful and kind and treats his teacher and all his classmates very well. We're proud of you, Joe!