So. 2012.

First, before I wax philosophical, a few pictures of New Year's Eve and some other photo-worthy events of 2011.

We had a few friends over for New Year's Eve and had a most wonderful time:

Some of the kids at our place on New Year's Eve

More of the kids at our place on New Year's Eve

Ethan and two of his buddies, getting ready to go to the New Year's dance.

Happy New Year!

And Silly String!

A few more photo-worthy events over the holiday break:

Elise and her friend enjoying  mud masks from the "spa kit" Grandma Sweat gave Elise for Christmas.

Dad and Ethan and a gaggle of dead pheasants.

Jonas hanging from a rock wall -- the Big Boys enjoyed a day of indoor rock climbing over the break.

It was nice to spend time together as a family and just chill over the holiday break. It's also been nice to get back into the swing of a normal schedule and take down the holiday decorations. Ethan came home from school the day I got Christmas all taken down and said, "Mom, our house is so clean! What's the deal?" No cleaner than normal -- I'd just cleared out all that wonderful, but cluttery, Christmassy stuff. And don't be so surprised that the house looks clean, kiddo.

And now it's 2012. I'm not a big one for official "resolutions," but it is nice to take a minute to look back on the year that just passed and look forward to the year that's coming. Here are a few thoughts on 2011:

Good stuff: Seeing the kids come into their own in their new schools and with new friends. Watching them participate in baseball and swimming lessons and plays and church events and all that fun stuff and enjoying their successes at school. Appreciating the benefits of having a happy husband: happy in his job, happy in the opportunities that living in Minnesota affords, happy in his calling. Spending time with friends and family during our three trips (hey, wait, with the Segullah retreat I had FOUR trips to Utah. Can that be right?), as well as our other trips and boating expeditions. I also found  a lot of purpose and growth with my new seminary calling (amidst the sleepiness and late-night "what in the heck am I going to teach tomorrow?" panic sessions).

And then there's the entertainment rundown. My favorite movies of the year? (It's actually slim pickins this year, imo, but I do have some favorites): Moneyball, The Muppets, Super 8, Contagion, and The Help. Favorite TV shows?: The Good Wife and the first season of Downton Abbey (hooray for good writing, good acting, good production values, for both shows). Modern Family and Community made me laugh, too. And I know it's totally predictable of me since it was only the most popular album of 2011, but singing along to Adele's album 21 while I drove around in my car brought me lots of joy. Mumford & Sons had some nice ditties too. I read some really great books as well: State of Wonder by Ann Patchett, Mystery and Manners by Flannery O'Connor, The Invisible Bridge by Julie Orringer, 11/22/63 by Stephen King, The Place of Knowing by Emma Lou Thayne, Bossypants by Tina Fey, and Unbroken by Laura Hillenbrand were probably my favorites.

I was happy to discover that Rick Bayless of Top Chef fame has a new line of Mexican products at Target. This sauce  is mui bueno, especially when you're making shrimp tacos with corn tortillas. Big time mmmmmmm. . . .

Oh, and I also was really glad to see Forrest (almost) finish our new deck in the backyard. It was a big project and he did a great job. (The only thing left to do is cover up those white posts. I'm having issues with the white posts.)

Not as Good Stuff: 
The toughest losses of the year were Forrest's dad's death, as well as the death of my Grandma. We also lost Buttercup -- she left one day and never came home. It was hard not to know what became of her. Even though she drove me crazy with her late-night wake-ups and incessant need to destroy the carpet on our bottom stair, she's been a part of our family for seven years. We miss her. I've also struggled some this year with feeling a bit aimless and untethered and (perhaps strangely, since in comparison to other years I have so few external pressures right now) anxious. I think, out of everyone in the family, I've had the hardest time with the move. Although there are many good things about living in Minnesota and I've met some wonderful people I'm so grateful now to know, I miss my family and Utah friends and my writing community and my BYU teaching job.  I went from being too busy to being not busy enough, I think, and the shifting of gears has been a little rough at times. I also tend to tilt toward anxiety when my emotional equilibrium gets wonky, and with only one way to direct my nervous energies -- training them directly on my kids -- I tend to overmanage their lives to a certain extent, and overworry.

Blogs often give the impression that everything is always sunshine and toothy grins, and while I had a lot to be grateful for this past year and nothing tragic or terrible happened, this year has probably been more challenging for me personally than I would have liked it to be. I have learned a lot, though, and can honestly say I've grown closer to the spirit. It's such a cliche that it's almost embarrassing, but it's much easier to forget God when your life is full and brimming. So I count my opportunity to call on my Heavenly Father and strengthen my understanding of the atonement as one of the blessings of 2011.


Which doesn't mean that I don't hope 2012 is a little better.

Here are my hopes for 2012, as well as some of the things I'm looking forward to:

-That the kids will all be healthy (physically, mentally, spiritually) and, of course, happy. That they will continue to do well in school and make friends and work hard and have fun.

-That I can keep on enjoying teaching seminary and figure out a way for it to work next year. (Jonas goes to middle school, so there's nobody at my house to watch Wyatt. Hmmm.)

-That Forrest will continue to enjoy work and find success there, and new challenges. That he'll always know how very grateful I am for him: that he is my rock, my best friend, my one and only, my favorite person. (Yes, that's too sappy, I realize, but no matter how I feel about some externals in my life, I never want to forget how lucky I am to be married to someone I truly love and who loves me back. Even when I'm wonky.)

-That I might be able to find an adjunct teaching job. Wyatt will be going to Kindergarten in the Fall, probably full time, and it will be good for me to be able to have something else besides the kids to focus on. I know this isn't the case for everybody, but for me, I'm a better mom when I have a little something else to worry over and concentrate on. Teaching a class or two isn't the be-all end-all, but I know from past experience that it fills me up just enough, despite some added stress, to give me the emotional reserves I need at home.

-That I'll continue to work on my writing. I finished the short story I'd been working on for months and have submitted it, but haven't heard back on it yet. Hopefully it'll find a home. Now I need to get serious on my novel.

-That we'll have some fun family trips. And that Forrest and I will TOTALLY enjoy ourselves in St. Lucia in March. We're going with the Wilkeys for our 20th anniversary and it should be an awesome time.

-That I won't need trials or personal wonkiness to remember to turn to God. That's the best way, right?

I hope you all have an excellent 2012. See ya 2011! Onward and upward.