So I haven't had a baby yet. Sigh. I went to the dr. on Tuesday and had my membranes stripped (although she ended up delivering TWO BABIES while I was waiting, sitting on the examining table with a sheet over my lower half for two hours--every twenty minutes the nurse would pop her head in and say, "She should be here in 10 minutes!" Read two entire People magazines.) Now I'm a "good 4 plus," says the doctor . . . but the membrane stripping was a no go and here I sit. I'll have to do a running tally of how many people ask "Are you still here??" at church on Sunday.
Since the only two things I have left to do are 1. housework and 2. waiting to go in to labor, I figure I'll avoid #1 and distract myself from thinking about #2 by adding to my list. I'll pick 'er up at #31.
31. I developed a mysterious bump on my nose about 5 years ago. I went to a dermatologist to have it removed (and they had to give me a shot--on the tip of my nose!) but it grew right back. Jonas calls it a "witch bump."
32. I also developed a mysterious keloid (is that how you spell it?? it's bumpy scar tissue) on my upper left arm a few years ago, too. The reason it's mysterious is that I don't recall ever cutting or injuring myself there, which is how keloids come about. It freaked me out so the same dermatologist who tried to fix my nose bump did a biopsy on it--but it's just a keloid. Weird.
33. When I was a teenager, I had a sneaking suspicion that some of my friends liked my mom better than they liked me. Some of them even wrote her notes when I was in Jr. High.
34. My first college major was history, but after taking my first history class I decided that what I really loved was my high school history teacher, Mr. Jones, and not history itself, and switched to English. It really makes no difference to me whether stories are true or false, and when you major in English there's not nearly as much memorizing.
35. The worst grade I ever received was a D in "Philosophy of Logic" that I took to fill my math requirement at BYU. Long story, but I thought I could game the system by taking the introductory course to Philosophy of Logic independet study, getting the textbook, then dropping the course and getting my tuition money back and reading the book on my own to prepare. Like that would actually happen. Plus I always liked philosophy (Plato and Descaretes and all that). Little did I know that the Philosophy of Logic was actually an entirely new language, this weird math/philosophy hybrid, and on the first day of class I felt like I'd stepped into Mandarain Chinese 301. The professor told us that this was one of the most often failed classes on campus and that we could drop out as soon as we had enough points for the grade we felt comfortable with. I felt comfortable with my D and happily dropped out after 3 weeks of torture.
36. My favorite class at BYU was a Contemporary Lit class taught by Darrel Spencer, an amazingly smart and thrillingly left-of-center-for-BYU fiction writer. He would type up page long, single spaced commentary on everything we wrote. When he told me I was "bright" it literally made my year and reminds me to this day how much a few encouraging words from a teacher can mean.
37. When I started student teaching, my supervising teacher came in for a surprise visit and I was sitting cross-legged on a book cart in front of the class whilst talking about To Kill a Mockingbird. Apparently sitting crosslegged on a bookcart is bad teacher protocol, because some of the folks I knew in classes she taught afterword said she used me as an example of "how to remember that in order for the students to think you are older than them . . . . don't do THIS."
38. I hate going to the dentist.
39. The older I get, the more irrationally afraid of heights I become. It's gotten so bad that I can't even walk out on hotel balconies and if I'm in a mall on a high level and the railing is that see-through plexiglass stuff, have to stay a few feet away from it. What is that?
40. When I got married at the age of 20 (and I'd been 20 for two whole weeks) it never crossed my mind once that I might be a little young.
41. I love watching reruns of "100,000 Pyramid" and think that Dick Clark is by far the best game show host ever.
42. I love playing board games, particularly word games, but Forrest usually beats me at Scrabble. I, however, usually beat him at Boggle.
43. I like wearing slightly high heeled shoes, but it makes me feel guilty and self-conscious, too, like people will think I'm being inappropriate and overly flashy.
44. Same thing with big earrings.
45. I prefer my six-year old, slightly-musty-smelling, denty van to our new Tahoe.
46. My back actually hurts less when I'm pregnant that when I'm not.
47. I rarely feel guilty about reading too much.
48. My three culinary specialties are salads, cheesecake, and chocolate chip cookies. Everything else I leave to Forrest.
49. Donald Trump makes my skin crawl.
50. Even though I think that Rosie O'Donnell has gone sligtly cuckoo in the last 5 years, I still have soft spot for her, probably stemming from my early days as a stay-at-home Mom watching the Rosie O'Donnell show (back when she was nicer).
51. I love going to church on Sunday now that I'm no longer the Primary president.
52. I really don't think I like to snow ski. I'm going to give it another whril after I have the baby . . . but I really don't think I'm going to like it. Sorry, hon.
53. I do like waterskiing, though.
54. The only excercise routine that I've found that I enjoy (after attempting jogging at home, treadmill at home, treadmill at gym, weights at gym, aerobics tapes at home, and elliptical machine at gym) is group aerobics classes. But only if they're really full and I can stand at the back.
55. I'm convinced that my body wants to weigh what it wants to weigh, pretty much no matter what I do. I know this sounds like a cop out. But it's true, I swear!!!
56. Although I do love Oprah most of the time, sometimes I wonder if she realizes how self-involved she is.
57. I love watching Meet The Press on Sunday mornings and would talk about politics more if it didn't bug or bore almost every single person I know.
58. When I wake up in the morning, the thought of a bowl of Honey Bunches of Oats makes me really, really happy.
59. I still make my kids get in bed by 8:30 every night and wonder how much longer I can keep this going until Ethan figures out that 8:30's a bit on the early side.
60. I can't not answer the phone when it's ringing and let it go to voice mail.
61. I love Christmas shopping the day after Thanksgiving.
62. The three male celebrities I find most attractive: John Cusak (smart, soulful, funny, not so physically attractive as to be intimidating); Kurt Cobain (Kurt! The pain in your eyes! The artistic angst! Let me save you!); L.L. Cool J. (I know. He represents a side of me that I rarely acknowledge). So I know my Grandpa reads this blog, but I'm leaving this anyway.
63. The female celebrites I like best are: Meryl Streep (so talented, and so fun to listen to in interviews); Julia Roberts (such a happy smile, and I like her even more now that she's married to the camera man and has babies); and anyone who has recently been given newfound fame and is grateful for it and not jaded (like Jennifer Hudson at the Golden Globes).
64. Angelina Jolie scares me. She looks like she's made of wax.
65. Although I love reading stuff by Sheri Dew, she kind of scares me when I look at her, too. (Hey, that rhymes).
66. Even when I shave my legs in the morning, they are as stubbly as sandpaper by the end of the day.
67. I love anything marshmallow. Peeps, circus peanuts, just plain marshmallows from the bag. Back in the "low fat" days this was an eating bonanza, but now that carbs are the enemy I can't feel so guiltless about it.
68. I have to read at least some of the newspaper every day.
69. I like to turn on lots of lights in the house. Whenever I go to someone's house who doesn't turn on lights, it's all I can do to restrain myself from standing up and flicking them on.
70. After living in Minnesota for 7 years, I can't wear shoes in the house.
Okay! So that's enough! Now you all should know everything about me.
I am not blogging again until this baby is born. So there. Induction, Tues. morning 7:30 a.m. Or sooner?!?!?!